Thursday, October 27, 2011
Hi dear practical writers! I suppose this is a busy week for you all and since nobody else has given me new feedback, I decided to post my final version based on your previous suggestions and questions. Notice that the difference between this final version and the 2nd version is the fact that I used connectors to link the ideas of my paragraph. The ideas flow much better! This is something you have to consider when writing your own paragraphs!
I'm Vinicius Lemos and I work at Casa Thomas Jefferson. I have been an English teacher for 16 years, 10 of which at Casa Thomas Jefferson. By the way, I work at the Sudoeste Branch and I teach children, teenagers and adults as well. This is the 4th online course I teach and I like trying out innovative teaching and learning practices. I learned English the English I know at Casa Thomas Jefferson. In fact, I started when I was only 11 years old. In addition, I lived in North Dakota as an exchange student from 1993 to 1994. I must say it was one of the greatest experiences in my life. This picture was taken last year on trip to New York City, one of my favorite spots on Earth. Moreover, I love cold weather, so no better place to be during my vacation. Traveling, as a matter of fact, is probably my favorite hobby.I have visited some countries in South America, like Argentina,Peru, Chile and Uruguay and this is one of the reasons why I am studying Spanish. I want to travel and practice Spanish on future adventures. How about you, do you like visiting different places like I do?
Now, it`s time for me to know a bit more about you all! I`m very curious to learn more things about everyone! Use my paragraph as a model and upload your own to our course platform. Have a great week!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Hi guys, based on all your questions and suggestions I have improved a bit my paragraph. That`s how it looks now:
I'm Vinicius Lemos.I work at Casa Thomas Jefferson. I have been an English teacher for 16 years or so.I have worked at Thomas for almost 10 years. I work at the Sudoeste Branch.I teach children, teenagers and adults. I learned English at Casa Thomas Jefferson. I started when I was only 11 years old. I lived in North Dakota. I was an exchange student.The year was 1993.This picture was taken last year.I was in New York City. I love cold weather. I have visited some countries in South America. I have visited Argentina,Peru, Chile and Uruguay. I am studying Spanish. I want to travel and practice Spanish.This is the 4th online course I teach. I like trying out innovative teaching and learning practices.
So , what do you think about it? Is it good enough? Is there anything you think I should do to make it look better? Should I include any other piece of information?
Give me some more ideas so that I can write my final version for this paragraph. Tomorrow night I am going to take your comments and post the final third version. See you guys!