Monday, March 14, 2011

About the Instructor (2011)



I'm Vinicius Lemos. I have been an English teacher for 16 years or so. I've been working at Casa Thomas Jefferson since 2002. I work at the Sudoeste Branch. This picture was taken there last year.


Questions:

* Is the introduction complete? If so, what extra information do you think would be relevant? If not, what else do you think should be inserted?
* How could this introduction be better connected?
* Do you think the picture plays an important role in an online introduction? Why (not)?
* What other information could be included in this paragraph?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello teacher,
Finally, I’m here.
In my opinion, your introduction is not complete at all. The unique information you have given was about your occupation as an English teacher. Maybe good information would be when you started studying English, why you decided to be an English teacher and if you have another activity as a job. Other questions could be answered: Have you ever studied or lived abroad? What are your hobbies?
On the other hand, your sentences are a bit short and could be connected by linking words (I not sure about the name of words like “and”, “so”, “because” etc).
I liked the picture you have inserted on the text. As we are practicing in a virtual room, certainly the picture increases our view of the author of introduction.
I have another question. Are you sure that this picture was taken at Casa Thomas Jefferson?? It's such a beautiful place!
That’s all my comments.
I'm waiting for your new introduction version.
Naíce

Judyth said...

Hi teacher,
I dont think your introduction is complete. It is too short, and you just talked about your job. I think you should have talked about the reasons for choosing this place to work, and why being a teacher, your hobbies, your family, and more things about you. I think if you had used and, but and so you'd have a better linked text. Well, the picture you have posted is really good, and it is an important tool in virtual connections. It makes us do not feel like in a web page. Are you sure you were in CTJ, in that pic?

Neyane

Janaina said...

Hi Vinicius,
I think your introduction is not complete.It would be relevante to say about the interest in being instructor on online course.It also could be included age, preferences and additional information about the course online.However, I don't think that's necessary talking about family and personal life, specifically for this course introduction.
I agree that a picture plays an important role in an online introduction because it’s nice when you see the person you are talking with, by the way, I forgot to put my picture in the blog. It seems to me that pictures let the online introduction less imparcial, but I understand that some ones want to preserve their image and don´t post pictures.About your picture, it doen't like you take it at Casa Thomas Jefferson!
Best,
Janaina

Vinicius Lemos said...

Hello Naíce, Neyane and Janaína. Thanks for posting comments on our blog. As Naíce has pointed out, the paragraph is too short and the introduction is really poor. You're right, more information is definitely necessary so that readers can get to know more about the writer. In this type of paragraph adding information about hobbies, profession, likes and dislikes is totally pertinent. Moreover, Neyane has a point when she says that pictures play an important role in the virtual world. It really makes virtual distances shorter! Janaina, your're right, that picture was not taken at Casa Thomas Jefferson. Editing the text carefully is key not to get the reader confused!

Antonio said...

Hi Vinicius,
That's great you've added a lot of new information to tha second draft of your writing.I agree with the other writers. You've added much information in a very confusing way. In addition, you should have used some connetors as "and, but, however" for example.You starts talking about something then you just stops and talk about a different thing.You should organize your paragraph in a chronologic order.
Yours
Antonio

Anonymous said...

Teacher Vinicius, I am sending my comment about your blog:

I think that the introduction is incompleted. I think you have to write more about yourself. For example, you have to give more informations about: city where you was born, age, how much time you live in Brasilia, what things you like to do, what you do on weekends, etc.

If you had written more about yourself, I think it would be better.

I agree with the opinion that the picture plays an important role an online introduction. However you write a little about yourself, the picture shows more than this. In the picture, you was in a beautiful place. It is important for the classmates.

In general, we don`t have much time to write we want. However, some informations are essencials. If you put more information abou your family and describe some travels that you do, I think the test Will be more interesting.

thank you
angerico

Narika said...

Hello Vinicius!
I think your introduction was too brief. You could tell us about your age, where you come from...You know? Some personal information besides the place where you work.
That's all for now...